This was done at the time I was looking for a roommate for my old apartment. I never ended up finding one and I had to move. A friend and I got wasted one night and started writing what you see before you today. I never ended up posting it on Craigslist, but maybe I should have.
Are you ripped? are you hot? do you have a bed?
roommate/bedmate needed.
Hello, I'm looking for A SEXY ROOMMATE, PLEASE BE RIPPED. PLEASE COOK OFTEN, BUT BE VERY NEAT. I LOVE YOU. LOVE, DANIELLE. P.S. no jews allowed. There's one here already, and that's enough.
P.P.S. super sexy ripped jews are an exception.
one bedroom available in a 2 bed 1 bath apartment in National/Robertson area.
must be clean, neat and curteous, must be a horrible cook, with no desire to be in the kitchen. must be willing to participate in madlibs and all night ragers consisting of two to three people. Must like 90s altrenative music repeatedly played everyday. Must love beer. Must love cats and not be allergic. Must like Paula ALOT. Must like cucumber drinks and weird ice cream. Must be willing to try my weird appetizer experiments. Must be hot, or have friends who are. Picture required before interview. Must have a full time job outside of the house. Must be willing to deal with my crazy mother every once in a while. Must LOVE jews, and be accepting of progressive rednecks. Sorry, only one parking space, and its mine, bitch. Must like Japanese food. Must be willing to get extremely drunk with me on all kinds of liquor at least once a week, and mildly intoxicated 6 days a week. Must be willing to learn hebrew. No smoking, unless you want me to bum cigarettes off of you all the time.
750 month plus 500 security deposit.
i'd apply to live with you after reading this, even though 750 a month for one person is a lot.
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