The Beginning of the End. IMHO

I'm absolutely terrified of giving in to the boys that I like. 
I try to keep my distance as long as possible.  I don't want them to touch me. 

Don't get all pervy on me.  You know what I'm talking about.  It's that change-in-relationship-status touch.

So what the fuck am I so afraid of? 

Well you see, once someone touches you, that means eventually, one day, you're never going to see or hear from that person again.

I mean, unless you plan to make some bizarre mobster pre-relationship pact by spitting into each other's hands and then scraping the spit off of your palm and putting it in a time capsule marked with an "X" with the blood that you shed from your trigger finger and burrying it in the location that you met while pinky swearing....[yeah, that's probably not happening]

Your soon-to-be significant other will one day disappear forever.

I can name at least three people that this theory holds true to.

And it totally doesn't make sense.  If you like someone enough eat meals with them, smoke cigarettes until dawn with them, take long walks with them, talk for hours on the phone with them, invite them to meet your friends, go on trips with them, and share so many other experiences with them, why in god's name would you never want to see them again one day?

At least before you touch someone, you're in the safe, forever friends mode.

If I choose you, which is really fucking rare, I don't want to be your friend for a minute.  I WANT to be your friend forever.  Just ask two of my hetero life mates, whom I've known since I was 5.  Real friends aren't to be taken lightly, real friends are some deep shit.

So, here are some of the ideas that I thought of in order to make starting a relationship with someone less difficult:

1.  Date someone you dislike.  In fact, you should probably date someone you fucking hate.  That way, you can't wait to get rid of them.

2.  Date someone with a flaw, someone you can never truly love.  My flaw of choice?  I want someone who is REALLY hot, and REALLY dumb.  ::drool::

3.  Date someone who is already married, with children.  Yeah, it's baggage, but at least if you're somewhat educated, you can assume ahead of time that its not going to work out.  (ok, I would never do that, but it's just a thought)

4.  Convert to a culture that will accept you in an arranged marriage. 

 Any other ideas?

This whole situation really makes the prospect of surviving the dating scene all the more daunting.  Once you touch someone, it is only the beginning of the end.