Dating Blog Intermission

 Since You've Been Gone-Aretha Franklin

Baby baby, sweet baby
There's something that I just got to say
Baby baby, sweet baby
You left me hurtin' in a real cold way

Speak your name
And I feel a thrill
You said I do
And I said I will

I tell you that I'll stay true
And give you just a little time
Wait on me baby,
I want you to be all mine
I just get so blue

Since you've been gone, baby
(why'd you do it? why'd you have to do it?)
Since you've been gone
(why'd you do it? why'd you have to do it?)

Baby baby, sweet baby
I didn't mean to run you away
It was pride on my lips,
But not in my heart
To say the things that lead you to stray
But ah, me
Hear me now
(hear me)
I don't know what I'm gonna do
(hear me)
Got to get you back somehow
(hear me now)
I'm praying
Take me back,
consider me please
If you walk in that door,
I can get up off my knees
I've just been so blue

Since you've been gone
(why'd you do it? why'd you have to do it?)
Since you've been gone
(why'd you do it? why'd you have to do it?)
Well I've been so lonely
(sweet sweet - sweet sweet baby)
Baby, since you've been gone
(sweet sweet - sweet sweet baby)
I've been so lonely
(why'd you do it? why'd you have to do it?)
Since you've been gone
(why'd you do it? why'd you have to do it?)
Baby baby baby been so lonely
(sweet sweet - sweet sweet baby)










 

On a completely different note...I went on a date with this guy, and although I haven't been on many, it was the best date that I've ever had.  After that date, I literally felt high on life for a day and a half. Then he never called me back.  I was bummed, but I know at the very least there is an awesome and wonderful guy running around out there that I might run into again one day.  Anyway,  I had a dream about him last night.  I dreamed that we were at the bar where we met and he was sitting with a couple of guys and some smokin' hot females.  I even had the guy friend I was with peek around the corner to confirm if they were as hot as I suspected.  Affirmative.   I then came to understand the reason why I never heard from him again.  Hot Chicks. ;)

Hungry? Horny??

Try these food related pick up lines at a party, at church, or a convalescent home!  It's bound to get you in someone's pants, or at the very least in a food fight of epic proportions.

But you don't have to take my word for it.  (In fact, you probably shouldn't.)

1.  What do you like to spread on your buns?

2. Do you like thighs or breasts?

3. Do you like big melons?

4. Do you like milk in your jugs?

5. Do you like to eat kosher meat? (for you jewish folk out there)

6. Big sausages or little ones?

7. Can I ream your lemon?

8. Wanna lick my beater?

9. Would you like to try my special sauce?

10. Nice apron, wanna fuck?


:)

The Beginning of the End. IMHO

I'm absolutely terrified of giving in to the boys that I like. 
I try to keep my distance as long as possible.  I don't want them to touch me. 

Don't get all pervy on me.  You know what I'm talking about.  It's that change-in-relationship-status touch.

So what the fuck am I so afraid of? 

Well you see, once someone touches you, that means eventually, one day, you're never going to see or hear from that person again.

I mean, unless you plan to make some bizarre mobster pre-relationship pact by spitting into each other's hands and then scraping the spit off of your palm and putting it in a time capsule marked with an "X" with the blood that you shed from your trigger finger and burrying it in the location that you met while pinky swearing....[yeah, that's probably not happening]

Your soon-to-be significant other will one day disappear forever.

I can name at least three people that this theory holds true to.

And it totally doesn't make sense.  If you like someone enough eat meals with them, smoke cigarettes until dawn with them, take long walks with them, talk for hours on the phone with them, invite them to meet your friends, go on trips with them, and share so many other experiences with them, why in god's name would you never want to see them again one day?

At least before you touch someone, you're in the safe, forever friends mode.

If I choose you, which is really fucking rare, I don't want to be your friend for a minute.  I WANT to be your friend forever.  Just ask two of my hetero life mates, whom I've known since I was 5.  Real friends aren't to be taken lightly, real friends are some deep shit.

So, here are some of the ideas that I thought of in order to make starting a relationship with someone less difficult:

1.  Date someone you dislike.  In fact, you should probably date someone you fucking hate.  That way, you can't wait to get rid of them.

2.  Date someone with a flaw, someone you can never truly love.  My flaw of choice?  I want someone who is REALLY hot, and REALLY dumb.  ::drool::

3.  Date someone who is already married, with children.  Yeah, it's baggage, but at least if you're somewhat educated, you can assume ahead of time that its not going to work out.  (ok, I would never do that, but it's just a thought)

4.  Convert to a culture that will accept you in an arranged marriage. 

 Any other ideas?

This whole situation really makes the prospect of surviving the dating scene all the more daunting.  Once you touch someone, it is only the beginning of the end.