BLACK ATTACK!

 

Dear Black People,  

           Thanks for your love, and the thug pictures, so many thug pictures.  

I've been on Black People Meet for about a month now, and have just decided to pay for it after my inbox hit over 100 messages.  I was SURE that I would find a veritable GOLD MINE of hilarity, but to my utter dismay, all I found was this message:

 

77 TIMES...and counting!

Now, keep in mind, there are other "flirt messages" to choose from, so WHY did I get this reaction out of black men 95% of the time? I have gotten this message so many times, that I had to create a special folder JUST for this bizarre unforeseen phenomena.

My regular inbox now has just as many 

messages as the "Interested in You" folder.

 

 So what is in the actual INBOX folder?  

42

haha, just kidding (god I need a drink).  But I think signing up with The Meet actually did answer my burning question.

Do men copy/paste THE SAME EXACT MESSAGE to well, EVERYONE?

  Check this out and tell me that I was the inspiration for this:

sitting here.....pen in hand

slowly the words begin to flow
you are all thats on my mind
its you i yearn to know
  its not my imagination

despite how strange it seems
your beauty has me mesmerized
your presence invaded my dreams

so  i'll write until i tire
some see it as a waste
my inspiration is quite simple
the image of your face

In my dreams we are passionate
every single day...
and when we finally meet
i know just what to say

Is it infatuation
or some type of lust
no just a man craving
affection,love, and trust

one word here, another there
each verse falls into place....
im wondering if i'll ever experience
your beauty ,style,and grace
  so i'll just sit here

comptemplating
dam baby your features are
fascinating
  and i hope and pray

that my fantasy
will one day be reality
  ok , i think i've said enough

one more word before i go
give me a chance and i'll steal your heart
and never let it go....

 Dating rule #1 (I just decided): DO NOT write poetry to someone you don't know OVER THE INTERNET.  Either they will think you are creepy, or they will think you are creepy and post your crazy talk in their blog.  Writing poetry to someone you don't know over the internet is an automatic fail.

And, to answer my own question.  Yes, men copy paste everything, and then insert your name.  

OK

Back to the few, yet colorful messages that BPM has enabled me to enjoy:

--hey you. nice smile you have there, killa’! LOL.

 I don't think there is supposed to be an apostrophe in that sentence.


Or how about this one?:

--How are you doing? Can I offer you coffee, tea or A Pastry to allow me to introduce myself properly to you.

The thing about this message that got me was, why is A Pastry capitalized?
Is that code word for his....
Just read the sentence again with that in mind. 


This one is my all time favorite: 

What's up...
--Damn girl you fine...wink! Im Jamal. It would be nice to talk... Holla back at me soon...





Sorry Jamal, I'm not holla-ing back, but take console in knowing that you made the 18 bucks I wasted on this site almost worth it.





I'm out.